by Andrea Putting | 23am20, 06202063009, 20+10:00amTue, 23 Jun 2020 09:32:43 +1000 | Articles
I am proud
to be a fence-sitter.
When I was
a little girl, I loved to climb the fence and peer into the neighbours back
yard. It was a whole different world. The backyard was covered in concrete,
except for the veggie patch where strange and unusual things were growing.
There was strange aromas coming from the kitchen that I had never smelt before
and from the huge brick garage really weird smells. I could hear the voices,
but I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. This was the beginning of my
fence-sitting life.
So many
will tell you to get off the fence. Make a decision, choose a side. But I don’t.
Why should I choose one side over the other. I can’t do that. I see you both. I
see both sides to the story by sitting on the fence.
If there is
a fence in the way, I cannot see you, I cannot see your story, I cannot feel
your delight and your pain. I have no frame of reference. I am blind to what
you see.
When I can
see over the fence, I can see you. I can see who you are, what is important to
you. I can feel what you are feeling. I can see what you can see.
From my
view point on the fence, I can also see the other person. I can see their story,
their delight and pain. I can understand who they are too. What is important to
them. Just as much as I can see you and what is important to you.
A fence is
just the way we block ourselves from seeing the other side, from enjoying the
view, from opening up to a new way, a new experience. It stops us from
understanding and feeling compassion. It stops us from walking in their shoes.
Who is on
the other side of your fence? Can you see them? Can you feel them? Climb up and
take a look. Sit on the fence for a while and see the view of someone else’s
story, someone else’s life.
I discovered
the joy of fence-sitting as a little girl. It brought me to a different world.
I was just interested in playing with the children I could hear on the other side.
It didn’t matter that they couldn’t speak English, dressed differently than me
or ate different food than me. For we were little girls and we saw past all of
that and opened up a new world for each other.
Take a look
over the fence. It might look strange at first, however one day you will look
back and see those strange and wonderful foods appearing everyday on your own
plate.
When I was
a little girl, my father wrote a book. Not an ordinary book, it was never
published, but it was one that has really profoundly shaped who I am.
This little
book was designed as a “flip chart book.” Which is the Power Point of the 60’s.
It was written for him to use in church school using carefully chosen cut and
paste, old school, with real scissors and real paste, to tell the story.
The story
of a little girl. It talked about all the things little girls loved to do. “I
love to go to parties. I love to play dress ups. I love to sing.” And on it
went. Every few pages it asked a question, the same question “But why do some
people hate me?” As a little girl at the time, these pictures spoke to me.
These were the same things that I, my sister and brothers, loved to do. This
little girl was just like me. At the end of the story came the reveal. “Why do
some people hate me?” The image is etched into my memory of a little Aboriginal
girl.
Just like
me. A message that has often echoed through my life as I realised that
opposites are the same. Someone who appears to be the complete opposite to me
really is the same.
We all need
that sense of belonging; we all need freedom to live our own lives. WE all want
to contribute to the world and feel that something we have done has been
worthwhile. We all need love.
When I hear
of events such as have unfolded in the US this week of a black man dying,
literally in front of the world. Being abused and mistreated essentially just
because he was black, my heart bleeds.
I have come
to recognise that it is not up to those who are oppressed, abused or victimized
to stand up for their rights. It is up to us who are not to change the way
things are. We can’t just stand behind them and say this is terrible, how can
people treat them this way. Standing with them in their fight can be helpful
and helps us to feel what they are feeling. To take time to walk in their
shoes, to understand what it is they are going through, to feel it, really feel
what it would be like.
Yet, it still
isn’t enough. We need to stand in front of them and shout out to the world, “We
will not accept this.” We need to stand in front of them and protect them and
allow them to feel safe in our community. We need to give them a sense that we
accept them for who they are and that they belong in our communities. It is
only then that we can heal the wounds and start to work together to create
vibrant communities that we all want to live in.
The story
of prejudice is not mine. I have never been the victim. But just because it is
not my story, doesn’t mean it is not my fight.
This is why
I have become passionate about chocolate and coffee breaks. As it is when we
sit together in a spirit of love and acceptance, we start to break down the
barriers that divide us.
Take time
to think about this and how it is that you feel called to make a difference.
Because, you can make a difference. Just reaching out to one person will change
the world. If we all do that, we have a world that we want to live in.
Share a chocolate, have a cuppa, enjoy a conversation and change the world.
by Andrea Putting | 22pm20, 05202053101, 20+10:00pmFri, 22 May 2020 13:26:29 +1000 | Articles
As I glance in the mirror, what do I see? Is that who I am? What does the world see? This is all. The who I am is not this image that is seen by human eye. Yet that is the me that people think I am. From this image, they make conclusions, they decide who I might be. They think they know me. It is easy for them to assume how my life is, what I might do, how I might think. They might think I have a certain amount of money and do certain things. But this is not who I am.
The who I
am is hidden from view of the human eye. The me that I am isn’t dependent on
this outer view. It is only when one is prepared to go deeper, to stop and
listen, to explore, to be present with me that they start to get a feeling of
who I might be.
The who I
am, is just like you. With dreams and hopes, with fears and uncertainties.
The who I
am desires to be loved, to be held, to be a part of community.
The who I
am wants to serve, wants to somehow feel that she has made a difference in the
world.
You see, I am just like you. No matter what you see or what you think I might be, I am just like you. No matter where I live, or how I live, I am just like you.
When we look at others, remember that you want to be seen beyond the outer layer. We want to be seen for who we really are. So, look beyond the surface of the person before you and see that truth of who they are. They may be just like you.
